By the Writer

The New $100 Notes

The new high-tech $100 bills are in, and they are pretty darn cool looking.

If that’s not exciting enough for you, watch this totally bizarre video the Treasury Department made introducing the new note. It’s just images of the note, strangely dramatic music, and occasssional onscreen text describing some of the new bill’s features. Example: “Bell in the inkwell.” (Which would be a great name for a emo band.)

George Washington, Shame On You!

It seems that our first president, that paragon of virtue who could not even lie about cutting down a cherry tree (although he apparently had no problem going around randomly cutting down cherry trees), was a bandit borrower of books:

Founder of a nation, trouncer of the English, God-fearing family man: all in all, George Washington has enjoyed a pretty decent reputation. Until now, that is.

The hero who crossed the Delaware river may not have been quite so squeaky clean when it came to borrowing library books.

The New York Society Library, the city’s only lender of books at the time of Washington’s presidency, has revealed that the first American president took out two volumes and pointedly failed to return them.

At today’s prices, adjusted for inflation, he would face a late fine of $300,000.

It should be noted that this story is from a British news source, so it should be taken with a grain of sore loser salt.

And holy cow—we’ve just found a terribly incriminating photo of the Father of our Nation about to engage in one of his notorious book thefts! Join us after the jump for this shocking, never before seen photo!

The Locust Pizza: Take the Pizza From My Hand, Grasshopper

Or should that be, “Take the Grasshopper From My Pizza, Hand”?

As locusts swarm across Australia, folks are finding a way to get back at the insects that devour crops – eat ‘em!

One café in Mildura, northern Victoria state, is offering locusts as a crunchy topping for pizza, CNN affiliate ABC news reports.

And, thank goodness, there’s an honest-to-goodness photo of one of the locust-topped pizzas:

The Toilet-Shaped House

Really, do we have to say anything else?

Better known as the toilet-shaped house, this showcase of superior plumbing was built by Korean Assembly Representative Sim Jae-Duck—a.k.a. Mr. Toilet—and his World Toilet Organization. It’s intended to celebrate the cultural centrality of the toilet and raise awareness of the plight of the world’s toilet-less. “We should learn to go beyond seeing toilets as just a place for defecation,” the late Mr. Sim once said, “but also as a place of culture where people can rest, meditate and be happy.”