CONTEST CLOSED! Guess the Number Uncle John Just Thought Of! [updated]

CONTEST CLOSED! (THRURSDAY, MARCH 7!) WINNERS ANNOUNCED HERE!

Ah-ROOOOOOO-Gah!!!

BREAKING: UNCLE JOHN’S BATHROOM READER IS HAVING A CONTEST!!! ENTER AND YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY WIN STUFF!!!

Alrighty then. First, here’s a picture of what this contest might look like if it were humanly possible to render such a complex thing into one image:

I think we’ve seen enough!

Moving right along:

GUESS THE NUMBER UNCLE JOHN JUST THOUGHT OF Contest Rules

1. Uncle John just thought of a whole number between 0 (zero!) and 100 (one hundred!). We’ve saved that number in Uncle John’s super-secret super-safe safe. (It’s a tissue box. It’s in his bathroom.) Your job: Gather all your psychic abilities into one tremendous bundle of other-worldly communication potentialities and determine exactly what that number is! Or better yet, just guess.

2. Tell us the number you have chosen in a comment below. (One entry per person. Two per giraffe. But giraffes have to submit their entries in person.)

4. The five people who come THE CLOSEST to the number Uncle John picked will win ONE (1!) Uncle John Bathroom Reader books of their choosing. (Yeehaw!)

5. The person the VERY CLOSEST to the number Uncle John picked will win TWO (2!) books of their choosing. (Bazinga!)

6. The submitter who guesses THE EXACT NUMBER (gasp!) that Uncle John picked will win FIVE (5!) books of their choosing. (Holy mackeral! It’s like Christmas and your birthday and Hungarian Goulash Appreciation Day all rolled into one! ‘Cept without the goulash.)

IMPORTANT NOTES:
• U.S. residents only. (You would not believe how complex and legally treacherous international laws are regarding simple contests like this. We are very sorry to our international fans for this.)

UPDATE: WHOLE NUMBERS ONLY! NO DECIMALS! (Note: This update was added just minutes after the contest was posted.)

• You have three days to enter! Entries will be taken until midnight on Wednesday, March 6, 2013!

• Winners will be announced on Thursday!

Tell your friends! Spread the word!

You cannot enter on FaceBook or Twitter! You have to submit your entry here!

READY SET GO!

AND GOOD LUCK! 

• Contest image from right over this-a-way.